These Unknown Feelings
by EaglefootMoonflightVipertail
Summary: Heartbreaking violet eyes looked up at him. "Lavi...", No matter how much it hurt, he will get over it. Even if he had to go through this pain over and over again. 'As long as she keeps smiling, I can keep these feelings at bay.' Onesided Allen x Lenalee, Onesided Lavi x Lenalee, slight Allen x Road.


**These Unknown Feelings**

_**'Up until now, He has never liked a person in a special way. He didn't understand the feeling of just staring at only one person in that way. That's why...He did not know the reason to the pain in his chest.' **_

_**-about Kasai **__**Haruka,**_

_**Katakoi Triangle, **_

_**Chapter 6 (Pg 12-14)**_

Lenalee walked down the halls of the Black Order, smiling joyfully, while holding a tray full of coffee. As she walked into the science division. All the scientists, who were extremely tired due to overworking, jumped up at the first scent of coffee and greeted Lenalee.

"Good Morning." She greeted back.

Before she could leave, Reever noticed something. "Your in a good mood today. Anything going on?"

She blushed slightly and held the tray to her chest. "It's nothing. I'm just glad to bring everyone coffee." Lenalee then exited the room before they could say anymore.

_'But it wasn't just nothing.' _She thought as she held the tray tighter. _'I'm finally going to tell Allen my feelings.' _

"Hey Lenalee." Lavi greeted as she past him swiftly, lost in thought. He watched her walk by without even a glance. _'Why does it have to hurt so much?' _

He had noticed the red cheeks and dazed eyes, the expression she would only give to Allen. He wasn't dumb, he knew how much she actually liked Allen.

Lavi clenched his teeth. _'Why...' _He turned his gaze from her fading figure and proceeded to walk in the opposite direction, hoping to get rid of the confusing pain in his heart.

"Hm?" Lenalee, who just realized Lavi had said something to her, looked back to see he had disappeared. "...Lavi?"

* * *

Lavi entered the cheerful atmosphere of the cafeteria, solemnly. Nearby finders looked up at him, confused as to why he wasn't acting like his cheerful self.

"What would you like today, Lavi?" Jerry asked happily, before he noticed Lavi's sudden personality change.

He smiled a little. "Maybe just a glass of water."

Jerry looked at him questionably, before handing him the glass. "Is there something bothering you?"

A troubled green eye met his. "I'm fine...just tired." He then walked off with worried glances following him.

Allen and the others looked up as Lavi approached the table. "Good Morning, Lavi!" Allen called, waving.

Lavi nodded and smiled slightly. "Morning..." Instead of heading for the usual table, Lavi sat with Kanda at a nearby table. The whole cafeteria got silent, as they watched the rabbit and samurai. Kanda gave Lavi a glare, all the finders started to whisper.

"What is it, Baka Usagi?" Lavi grinned glad to hear the insult again.

Kanda watched him curiously as he ate his soba. "It's nothing, Kanda. I just don't feel good today, that's all."

He stared at him, as he took another bite of his soba, knowing Lavi was serious. "Whatever...just go bother the Beansprout about it."

"I heard that, BaKanda! It's Allen! A-L-L-E-N!" Allen yelled at him.

Kanda turned and gave Allen a death glare. "You want to die, Moyashi?" He touched Mugen's hilt and Allen was about to active Crown Clown.

"Knock it off." Lenalee yelled hitting their heads. She sighed. "I take my eyes off you two for one minute and your fighting again. What are you kids?" Kanda grumbled and picked up his soba, walking away.

Allen smiled awkwardly at her, rubbing his head. "Morning Lenalee."

"Morning." Lenalee looked at Lavi, wondering why he looked so down.

Green met violet, as Lenalee sat in front of Lavi. "Lavi, what's wrong? Are you sick?" She put her hand to his forehead making his face turned a dark shade of red, confusing them and himself.

He pulled away from her hand and gave her a small grin. "I'm fine, Lenalee. Why does everyone keep asking me that?..."

_'No, that was a lie. I'm not fine. Ever since Lenalee started making subtle hints about her feelings towards Allen, his heart hurt. Every time she made that expression, he felt a sinking feeling in his chest, like...he wanted her to look at him with that sweet smile. His mind was always filled with her voice, laugh, smile...everything about her. When he was next to her his heart beat faster and he couldn't think. What are these unknown feelings?' _

His eye widened. "Lavi?" Allen asked.

Lavi got up without another word and left, leaving behind a untouched glass of water and worried friends.

* * *

" Spain...France...Italy...England..." Lavi turned and prop his arms up on the couch, sighing. "...Lenalee..." He shook his head and turned on his side, holding his head, wanting his mind to rid of the feelings he shouldn't have.

After the events in the cafeteria, he had entered the library, his own sanctuary, to try to get his mind off her. And apparently it wasn't working. _'Why now...I'm to become the next Bookman...and yet...' _

He shook his head angrily again and decided to maybe get some fresh air.

* * *

As he walked through the nearby town, he felt his heart hurt more and more. Everywhere he turned he was reminded of her.

Sighing, he sat on the edge of a fountain. And there he sat enjoying the natural sounds of people around him. Kids laughed and played, teens went on dates and hanged out with friends, adults talked about the good old times. In that atmosphere, he finally found something to get his mind off her for a while.

Red filled the sky has the sun set for the day. Lavi realized he had been here for too long and everyone was probably worrying about him. _'Especially Lenalee...' _He thought with a small smile.

Lavi stood up and stretched. He took one step and that's when he heard it. He wondered if it was his imagination and thought maybe it was just the fountain but, fountains didn't cry.

"Lenalee...?" He whispered, there she sat on the other side of the fountain, crying her heart out.

Heartbreaking violet eyes looked up at him. "Lavi..." He could feel himself fill with rage at the one who made her cry.

He sat beside her and gave her a comforting hug, letting her cry into his chest. He felt happy, sad, and angry at all the same time. _'Why is she the one that makes me feel this way?' _

"Lenalee, what happened?" He asked softly.

She sniffled. "A-Allen..."

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_Lenalee followed Allen throughout the town, wondering why he has been going off on his own lately. But the only thing in her mind was her confession, she was finally going to confess to him. _

_After a while, she decided that she would bump into him. _

_Her violet eyes caught the fading image of him heading down a lonely alleyway. Curious, she followed silently._

_Allen stopped in the middle of it and started to look around. She ducked down as he looked in her direction. Just as she thought this was the perfect chance..._

"_Allen~!" _

_Lenalee's heart broke as Allen flashed his beautiful smile and his eyes lit up, as Road cling to him happily. _

_She felt tears escape her eyes, as she watched them act like a happy couple._

"_Where are we going today, Allen~!" Road chirped happily._

_Allen laughed. "Well not to the candy store, that's for sure." He was joking, laughing, smiling with her, Road Kamelot, one of the Noahs. _

_Road pouted. "Baka Allen, of course we are." _

_They smiled and kissed passionately. While Lenalee could barely control her tears. As they left on their date, she ran off in the opposite direction, not wanting to see them, not wanting for her heart to break anymore._

* * *

_**Flashback**_

As Lenalee continued to cry on his chest, Lavi finally realized what these unknown feelings were, he is in love with Lenalee Lee. Lenalee was also feeling the pain that he felt, when Allen was with her.

He knew it wouldn't work out, Lenalee really loved Allen, even if she did start to love him, it would never work. 'Lavi' was a fake, he truly is just Bookman Jr., 'Lavi' was the one in love with her not Bookman Jr.

That's why...he'll have to let go of these feelings. But...right now he wasn't Bookman Jr., he is Lavi, and right now Lenalee, his crush, is crying.

Lavi smiled sadly and kissed her forehead, making her eyes met his. "Lenalee...you should at least be happy for him..."

"I-I kn-know but...I loved him so much.." She cried some more, as the sky darkened and the moonlight shone down on them.

No matter how much it hurt, he will get over it. "I know..." Even if he had to go through this pain over and over again. "...I know..."

* * *

The next morning, Lenalee found a note at her door.

_**'Dear Lenalee,**_

_**Thank you for making me realize my unknown feelings, I love you. So please keep smiling for me.**_

_**Love, your secret admirer.'**_

Lenalee felt a small feeling grow inside her at those words. _'Who...wrote this? I...want to know...' _She looked around, hoping to see the sender but, no one seemed to be around. _'Well whoever wrote this is very sweet...and maybe someday I'll be able to meet him.'_

Lavi's heart pounded in his chest as Lenalee smiled and walked back into her room. _'As long as she is happy, I'm happy.'_

He stepped out from the shadows and walked down the lonely lit hallway. _'And...as long as she keeps smiling, I can keep these feelings at bay.'_

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed! So this end, was not the way I had originally planned it. For a while now I've been wanting to write a oneshot where Lenalee is actually the one that loves Allen, instead of the other way around. I had planned it to be more of Lenalee's POV but somehow it turned into Lavi's. I know I've been writing sweet stories of Lavi x Lenalee, where they do get together. (except for that one..) But I really feel like this is what would happen if Lavi did have feelings for her or at least something like this. I was actually feeling like abandoning this idea if it hadn't been for 'Katakoi Triangle' the manga. (The one in the quote.) It's a very good manga, I would recommend it and the other author's manga 'Last Game' really great mangas. _  
_

Thanks to everyone reading this and I really hope you did enjoy this little oneshot. Have a great day! :)

**Read and Review Please!  
**


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